“Contracting” coaching’s competency for all

“Contracting” was a confusing word to me as a newbie coach taking my AoEC Practitioner Diploma in Executive Coaching. Many coaches use this word to signify the mutual agreement between client and coach which sets out the “how” of the relationship and the work and outlines the expectations of both parties as equal partners both having a shared interest in the success of the relationship. For example, what does confidentiality mean for both parties? What boundaries exist?

Thus “contracting” is an essential thread that runs through every coaching conversation and assignment, continuously naming, refining and adhering to the mutual code developed between all parties. In fact, the term is not used so frequently these days. The International Coaching Federation expresses it in a couple of different competencies: Establishes and Maintains Agreements and Cultivates Trust and Safety. What we call “contracting” is the cornerstone of the relationship and trust that is built between client and coach.

Prior to training as a coach, my understanding of the term “contracting” was that it meant the necessary logistics, paperwork and dotting of Is and crossing of Ts in a more legalistic sense. Like many new coaches, I approached this new verb as a “tick-box” exercise, a rush of hoops to jump through to get to what I considered to be the real stuff… the coaching.

Contracting lesson one: The contracting IS the coaching. Once I embraced it as a loyal friend, guide, protector and trust builder, I felt my coaching expertise flow more naturally and trust build between me and my clients more rapidly. I know that using this skill is an immense help in building the psychological safety required for the deep work of connecting and having successful coaching relationships. Like the coaching, the contracting is a dance that shifts and changes moment to moment in this held and trusted space.

In fact, contracting is such a terrific way of working that it is too good to be kept only to coaching. Learning to use it would provide great benefits for managers and those leading teams and anyone interested in shaping the meeting culture at their organisation. Recently, while working with partners in a law firm, I experienced the benefit of contracting around boundaries. Here are a few helpful example questions:

• How much time do we have available for this conversation?
• What are our parameters for confidentiality? Are there any exceptions to this? E.g. if someone threatened to do harm to themselves/the organisation/other what would confidentiality mean in this circumstance?
• What would be a great end point to this conversation? OR another way – What would you want to notice is different by the end of this conversation?
• At the end part – What have we learned about ourselves? The situation? What needs to be done?

These questions are not rocket science, but they do support deepening trust by being honest, setting out what needs to shift and managing expectations. The skill of contracting is such a great support that it makes sense for all kinds of situations and not only coaches. When managers invest time in building rapport, understanding the needs of all stakeholders and considering the “how” of the work as well as the “what” at the outset of any project or meeting, they are rewarded with higher psychological safety, greater understanding of the boundaries and expectations, all of which contribute to better clarity and results.

I know too well the temptation to dive into tasks at the beginning of a meeting and yet investing time in building rapport, setting out expectations and objectives and checking in against progress can dramatically improve the experience of participating in meetings. Often meeting culture is at odds with this approach. Contracting skills are a great starting point for any conversation with anyone whether in a group of one-to-one setting. It takes time, effort and training to develop these practices. Taking responsibility and modelling contracting can create a positive shift. Good practice can grow like a contagion, just as modelling bad practice can.

Here are some tips for your meeting/work conversations culture:

• Invest time in connecting before diving into the work
• Discuss expectations from different team members or stakeholders’ perspectives and explore what would work well
• What would a good result from the meeting/conversation be?
• Check the timings and whether there are any time pressures
• Establish any boundaries or potential conflicts of interest and how to deal with them
• Check-in with progress as time goes on
• Notice any tangential discussions, surface the issue, and agree together how to get back on track

One aspect I love about observing and mentoring new coaches is seeing how they grow in confidence as they flex their “contracting” muscle memory and understand it as an integral and essential aspect of the work, a profound enabler. What starts out as unnatural, uncomfortable and awkward grows into something more akin to a trusted companion, something it is impossible to live without. It takes time, practice and patience to develop this core coaching skill. I firmly believe that this competency is so pivotal it is too good to be kept to formalised coaching and represents a wonderful opportunity for any leader to integrate into their repertoire of skills.